Writing 101: Choosing the Best Point of View for Your Story

August 18, 2016August 17, 2016 ~ Kaitlin Hillerich ~ 5 Comments

Years ago, I remember watching a film called Vantage Point. The plot revolved around an assassination attempt on the U.S. President, and in order to catch the would-be assassin government agents had to piece together clues from witnesses.

Each witness had a different point of view of the assassination attempt from their place in the crowd. Each one saw and experienced the moment differently. From a police officer to a news reporter to an ordinary bystander, each had a different story to tell of the same event.

And that, my friend, is point of view–the “lens” or perspective through which a story is told, and in whose voice. But just who is telling the story? In fiction, different points of view use varying techniques to give the reader a different experience. Let’s look at the options available to you as a writer.

First Person Point of View

You’ve probably come across this one before, as it’s one of the most popular points of view (POV) used in fiction, especially in Young Adult novels. In this point of view, the main character is the one telling the story. The story is written in the character’s voice using the pronouns I/me/my.

The advantage of this POV is that the reader is drawn right into the character’s head. We see the world through their eyes and hear their thoughts. It’s a very intimate perspective. As such, however, the reader is limited to what the main character knows or sees, which can be either an advantage or disadvantage depending on the story you’re trying to tell.

Examples: The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, The Fault in Our Stars by John Green, The Help by Kathryn Stockett, Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden, The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger, and The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Second Person Point of View

Second person point of view is when the author speaks directly to the reader using you/your. This places the reader directly into the story as though they are the main character and has a very engaging effect. Let’s look at an example from Leo Tolstoy’s short story trio, The Sevastopol Sketches:

Yes ! disenchantment certainly awaits you, if you are entering Sevastopol for the first time. In vain will you seek, on even a single countenance, for traces of anxiety, discomposure, or even of enthusiasm, readiness for death, decision, — there is nothing of the sort. You will see the tradespeople quietly engaged in the duties of their callings, so that, possibly, you may reproach yourself for superfluous raptures, you may entertain some doubt as to the justice of the ideas regarding the heroism of the defenders of Sevastopol which you have formed from stories, descriptions, and the sights and sounds on the northern side.

As you can see, second person almost turns the reader into a participant in the story. It also makes the events more personal; it makes us feel as though we have a stake in the story and forces more internal reflection on our thoughts and feelings about what is happening.

This point of view is rarely used, and when it is, it’s usually found in short stories or parts of a novel. It’s extremely difficult to maintain second person throughout an entire novel and do it well. I would only recommend using second person in short stories or literary fiction, which experiments with the art of writing. For commercial fiction written for entertainment, it’s best to skip it.

Though it isn’t popular, authors can and have used second person successfully. For example, Italo Calvino’s If On A Winter’s Night A Traveller uses second person in alternating chapters, and William Faulkner uses it in sections of his novel Absalom, Absalom!. A few brave and talented authors have even written their entire novel in second person, such as Jay McInerney’s Bright Lights, Big City.

Third Person Point of View

Another popular point of view which you’re probably familiar with is third person. This is the point of view used most frequently in fiction. In this point of view, the reader becomes an outsider looking in on the story as it’s told from the main character’s perspective using he/she/they.

Although the story is told from the character’s perspective, it’s told in the author’s voice (though there is one exception to this which we’ll get to in a moment!). There are three types of third person: Third Person Omniscient, Third Person Limited, and Deep Point of View.

Third Person Omniscient

“Omciscient” means “all knowing” and that’s exactly what this point of view is.

The story is narrated to the reader in the disembodied voice of an all-knowing, all-seeing god who knows what all of the characters are thinking and feeling at all times. The narrator might even slip into second person occasionally and address the reader (a huge no-no in modern fiction!) or state his own opinions. Omniscient point of view is completely unlimited, and pretty much anything goes.

Here’s a quick example:

“Did you find your keys?” Mary asked, irritated at John’s carelessness. He was always losing everything. Why can’t he be more organized? she thought. He’s always wasting my time. Her jaw clenched in anger.

John ran a hand through his hair. “No. I could have sworn I left them on the kitchen table.” He turned away from her angry face, his own frustration mounting. She thinks I’m an idiot, he thought. Why can’t I remember where they are? Desperation began to creep over him.

Do you see how in omniscient point of view we are in both character’s heads at once? This style of writing was most popular in 19^th century literature, but since then reader’s tastes have changes and it’s now less favored in modern-day fiction.

Today, we call this switching back and forth between multiple character’s thoughts within the same scene “head hopping,” and it’s often frowned upon. All of the jumping around can be disorienting to the reader and leave them confused about whose story this is supposed to be.

But what if you need the perspectives of multiple characters to tell your story? There is another technique for this which is more popular and common modern fiction, which we’ll get to in the last section.

Examples of third person omniscient novels: War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy, The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne, and Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen.

Third Person Limited

This is the style of third person that is more popular with modern readers. We remain in one character’s head throughout the story, only seeing things from their perspective. This means we only hear their thoughts, feel what they feel, and know what they know.

Let’s revisit our previous example of Mary and John, for a moment. This time, I’ll limit the point of view to Mary’s perspective only:

John ran a hand through his hair. “No. I could have sworn I left them on the kitchen table.” He turned away from her, his lips pressed in a flat line.

Mary sighed. He couldn’t even look her in the eye, he looked like a scolded, cowering dog. Maybe she shouldn’t look so angry. She drew in a deep breath and tried to soften her features. Lord, give me patience.

Do you see the difference? We don’t know what John is thinking or feeling. We experience everything from Mary’s POV and only know what’s going on inside her head. Unlike omniscient POV which is limitless, in this POV we are “limited” to Mary’s perspective.

Examples of limited third person: The Giver by Lois Lowry, Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury, and A Song of Ice and Fire series (Game of Thrones) by George R.R. Martin.

Deep Point of View

Deep point of view is a style of writing that is beginning to grow in popularity. It uses third person pronouns he/she/they, but instead of using the author’s voice the story is told in hero’s voice. This brings the reader deep into the hero’s head and allows them to experience the story through the hero, feeling what they feel.

Essentially, it’s like first person except with he/she instead of I. All “evidence” of the author’s hand (phrases like he said, she felt, he wondered, etc.) are also removed to erase the distance between the reader and hero.

Let’s look at this technique in action.

Example 1 (Third Person Limited):

Kali hurried though the village. She wondered if he was already waiting for her. She lifted her skirts and leapt over a puddle. She knew she should have left earlier, but her mother had kept on talking about the chickens.

Example 2 (Deep POV):

Kali hurried through the village. Was he already waiting for her? She lifted her skirts and leapt over a puddle. She should have left earlier, but her mother had kept on and on about the chickens. Chickens this, and eggs that. Be sure to this, don’t do it like that. Kali’s fidgety impatience had driven the details from her memory. Hopefully they weren’t too important.

Notice the difference between the two examples. The second brings you into Kali’s head by removing “interruptions” by the author like “she wondered” or “she knew.” The second example also uses more of Kali’s voice to reveal her thoughts, feelings, and perceptions–it’s almost as though she is the narrator, yet we stay in third person point of view.

This point of view can be challenging to write and is still emerging in fiction, but it’s quickly gaining popularity in the writing world because of the intimacy it creates between the reader and character.

Multiple Point of View

When you have a story that needs to be told from multiple perspectives, you have two options: you can either use third person omniscient and head hop, or you can use multiple point of view.

Multiple point of view can use third person limited, deep point of view, or first person. It stays in one character’s head at a time per scene or chapter. When the writer needs to switch to a different character’s perspective, they skip a line between scenes or begin a new chapter to signal to the reader that they are changing to a new character. In modern fiction, this technique is the preferred way of telling a story with multiple characters.

Examples: A Song of Ice and Fire series (Game of Thrones) by George R.R. Martin, The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern, and The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer.

Which POV is Right for Your Story?

So now that we’ve explored your options, which one should you choose?

If you’re uncertain, try asking yourself these questions:

How many perspectives do I need to tell this story?
Do I want to create distance or intimacy between the reader and the character?
Do I want to tell the story in my own voice, or the character’s?

If you need multiple perspectives to tell your story you might use multiple POV or experiment with third person omniscient.

If you want to create intimacy between your reader and character, first person or deep point of view are the way to go. Or, you could create intimacy between the author and reader with second person.

Need a little more distance? Try third person limited or omniscient point of view.

If you want your character’s voice to really come through in your story, you’ll want to employ first person or deep point of view. Or, if you prefer to use your own voice, third person limited & omniscient and second person will all allow you to do so.

As you can see, it all depends upon the story you want to tell and how you want to tell it. I don’t think there’s a “right” or “wrong” point of view, but for a new writer I would recommend maybe starting with third person limited or first person as those as the most common and easiest of the bunch to write.

Many times, the point of view a writer chooses depends on personal preference. Some writers find first person too challenging or invasive, while others love it. Personally, I’ve always preferred third person limited (I’m now moving toward deep POV), but I do occasionally use first person. Sometimes the characters “speak” to me in first person, and sometimes I hear their story in third person.

The beauty of point of view is that each method gives the reader a different experience. As the author, it’s up to you to decide how you want your readers to experience your story. Do you want to draw them into the hero’s head? Make them a participant? Show them different perspectives through multiple characters? The power rests in your hands.

What’s your favorite point of view to read and write? Let me know in the comments below!

Clutter Words to Cut from Your Writing

November 27, 2015September 3, 2016 ~ Kaitlin Hillerich ~ 10 Comments

One mark of a good writer is the ability to communicate more with less. Editors like lean prose that’s effective and clear without wasting words. Often, our writing becomes cluttered without us realizing it. Words that seem innocent enough can actually detract from what you’re trying to say and add unneeded “fluff.” So how can you create tight, lean prose? Here are some words to cut from your writing!

NOTE: While these words can often clutter your writing, that’s not always the case. Exceptions can always be made, and it’s up to you to use your judgement to decide when a word can stay and when it needs to go.

1.Of the

“Of the” is almost always unnecessary and can be simplified.

Examples:

The owner of the restaurant.

The restaurant owner.

The wheels of the skateboard.

The skateboard’s wheels.

One of the nails came loose.

A nail came loose.

2. That

This one seems innocent enough, but again it can almost always be cut without any damage. If you have “that” in a sentence remove it, and if what’s left still makes sense then it’s unnecessary.

He said that he was coming.

He said he was coming.

Our teacher promised that there wouldn’t be any homework.

Our teacher promised there wouldn’t be any homework.

3. Adverbs

Most adverbs are either redundant or superfluous. For example:

“I have to go,” she whispered quietly.

Whispering implies being quiet, so “quietly” is redundant and can be cut.

He moved quickly across the lawn.

If we choose a strong verb the adverb becomes unnecessary and the writing becomes tighter and punchier:

He dashed across the lawn.

4. Almost/slightly/somewhat

Words like almost, slightly, somewhat, etc. aim to de-emphasize. This can weaken your writing. Observe:

The weather was somewhat hot.

The weather was balmy.

He backed up slightly.

He took a step back.

Her hair was almost soaked.

Her hair was wet.

Be as clear and direct as possible! Don’t waver in-between.

5. Really/very/quite

These words aim to emphasize, but if we choose our words carefully to begin with, they become unnecessary.

He ran really fast across the parking lot.

He bolted across the parking lot.

They had a very good time.

They had an excellent time.

The mouse was quite large.

The mouse was massive.

6. Adjectives

While not all adjectives are bad, you can usually eliminate or combine them without losing meaning. Watch out for piling on too many adjectives, and try to choose strong nouns that could replace them.

The small, fluffy, white kitten

The white kitten (small and fluffy is implied with kittens)

The large spotted dog

The dalmatian

7. Things/Stuff

Vague words like things, stuff, something, etc. should be avoided whenever possible because they do little to help the reader. Be specific to communicate clearly and give the reader a vivid picture!

She knew they needed to talk about things.

She knew they needed to talk about Max cheating with Em.

The table was littered with random art stuff.

The table was littered with pens, charcoal, paper wads, and brushes whose bristles were gummy with dried paint.

8. Most dialogue tags

Sometimes we need dialogue tags (said, shouted, whispered, etc.) to let us know who’s speaking. But often we can use character actions to communicate the same information in place of dialogue tags, or drop both altogether. For example:

Derek shoved his sweet potatoes around his plate. “I’m not hungry.”

His mother sighed. “Stop being picky.”

“I’m not picky. Potatoes shouldn’t be orange.”

“It’s good for you.”

“I don’t trust orange food.” He shoved his plate away.

There wasn’t a single dialogue tag in that conversation but you probably didn’t have any trouble following who was saying what. When you do find yourself in need of a dialogue tag, it’s usually best to use said over words like intoned, stated, etc.

9. Thought/realized/wondered

Just like with dialogue tags, we can communicate a character’s thoughts without words like realized, wondered, pondered, etc. I have a more detailed article explaining how to communicate a character’s thoughts which you can read here.

10. Then

This is a sneaky clutter word that can often be cut from your writing without changing its meaning.

Sara called a cab and then grabbed her coat.

Sara called a cab and grabbed her coat.

Cut the clutter from your writing and craft tighter prose

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Do you struggle with any of these clutter words? Are there any other words you avoid? Let me know in the comments below!

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How to Accept Your Writing (When You Feel Like the Worst Writer Ever)

September 25, 2015September 3, 2016 ~ Kaitlin Hillerich ~ 9 Comments

This past week, I was in a horrible writing rut. It was one those moods where you hate everything you write and you feel like you’re the worst writer in the world.

No fun.

I knew it wasn’t true, but I couldn’t figure out how to break free from the frustration and doubt. I started analyzing why I felt this way and unearthed my darkest writer insecurities. (Boy, we writers are a sensitive lot, aren’t we?)

And you know what I realized? I needed to work on accepting my writing, and who I am as a writer. Since this epiphany I’ve already gained a new perspective on my writing and have a better attitude towards it. I feel like I’ve made such a huge breakthrough! Seriously. I can’t even describe the feeling of peace and oneness (I don’t know how else to describe it okay!) I feel with my writing.

My writing is who I am. And who I am is enough. I am enough as a writer.

I know accepting my writing is something I will have to continue to work at, but I already feel so much more confident and content. So how can you start your journey toward accepting your writing? Here are 8 thoughts to consider.

1. Understand what constitutes good writing–and that these techniques are do-able.

The good news is you don’t have to be a literary genius to have good, clean writing. The techniques used to create good writing are ones that can be learned. And good writing does not equal pretty prose!

I feel like a lot of people get confused over what good writing looks like, and what exactly makes something “well written.” I am talking strictly about prose here, not the execution of plot or development of characters. Good writing:

Communicates ideas clearly
Uses correct spelling, grammar, and punctuation
Uses appropriate punctuation without overuse of dashes, ellipses, or semi-colons
Ensures sentences flow together smoothly and their structure is varied
Breaks paragraphs into appropriate sizes to control the pacing
Is tight without unnecessary words, sentences, paragraphs, or scenes
Uses appropriate word choice to set the mood and tone
Uses appropriate vocabulary for targeted audience
Helps the reader visualize the scene with description
Avoids an overabundance of description and purple prose
Engages the senses
Uses natural dialogue
Avoids crazy speech tags, mostly using ‘said’
Expresses the character’s emotions, feelings, and reactions
Avoids too much interior monologue
Avoids cliches
Uses strong verbs and avoids overusing adverbs
Avoids overusing adjectives
Uses specific over general nouns (i.e. Border Collie instead of dog)
Has a voice, whether it’s the author’s or character’s
Avoids info dumps and telling
Uses active voice rather than passive
Uses poetic devices such as similes and metaphors where appropriate
Either moves the story forward or develops the world or characters

Okay, that may seem like a lot and it is. Good writing is possible to achieve, but it isn’t easy! You have to work at it and keep practicing. But I promise eventually you will ingrain these techniques into your brain and begin to do them without thinking.

2. Pretty prose isn’t necessary, so don’t beat yourself up over it.

Beautiful, jaw-dropping prose is something that I feel is more of a talent than something that can be learned. Some writers can do it, and others can’t.

And for those of us who can’t, it can be really frustrating. But you have to remember that the quality of your story will trump your prose every time. Pretty prose isn’t necessary to becoming a successful author.

Look at J.K. Rowling. She wrote a phenomenal series with a great plot and characters, but if we’re being honest her prose isn’t all that great. But do I (or millions of other readers) care about that? Hells no! Readers will forgive poor prose if the story is amazing. But they will not forgive gorgeous prose that tells a crappy story.

So if you can’t write prose like James Joyce don’t sweat it! Work on making your plot and characters outstanding. That’s what readers are opening your book for anyway–not to oogle over pretty words.

3. Know what kind of writer your are.

Are you writing literary or commercial fiction? My guess is the second. It’s the category the majority of writers fall into. But what’s the difference?

Literary fiction–focuses on internal rather than external conflict. The plot moves slowly and goes in depth developing the characters. Also uses beautiful prose and artistic/unconventional techniques. The literary writer may only write one book and usually (though not always) writes for the sake of art rather than making a living/career. (It’s harder to make money in the literary market).

Commercial fiction–focuses more on external conflict and is written mainly as entertainment. The pace is usually faster to hold the reader’s attention. The writing is also clean and simple without being overly poetic so it is easy to understand. The commercial fiction writer usually writes multiple books (often a series) and seeks to make a career/living with their work.

Knowing which market you’re writing for can help keep things in perspective. I’m definitely a commercial fiction writer. I like to read/write for entertainment, and I want to make a career from my writing. So I don’t need to put unnecessary pressure on myself to be obscurely artistic or avant-garde, or have gorgeous prose.

4. You are not Tolstoy, Tolkien, or Hemingway (and that’s okay).

Stop comparing yourself to other authors and holding yourself to these high standards. They will crush you. And you know what? The truth is there will always be a writer who is better than you. You don’t have to be the best, and that’s OKAY!

This isn’t a competition! I know sometimes we can become perfectionists about our work, but don’t put unrealistic expectations on yourself. Write to the best of your ability. Your best is enough! You might not be able to write like Tolkien but guess what? Someday, you’re going to be someone’s favorite author. So who cares? Throw perfectionism out the window.

5. There will always be writers worse than you.

The funny thing about writers is we always tend to compare ourselves up instead of down. But pause for a moment and think about it. There are writers out there who write worse than you–and some of them are even published! If they can get published then why not you?

6. Your ideas will never sound as awesome on paper as they did in your head.

This is just a frustrating fact you must accept early on. Words can’t always capture the scenes you see in your head or the emotions you feel. Sometimes they fall short. This doesn’t mean it’s a bad idea! You just have to do your best in translating your idea into words, even though it may seem like a dull reincarnation.

7. Understand that your first draft will be crap.

And that’s okay. First drafts are meant to be atrocious. But when you’re writing a crappy first draft it can become easy to feel like a crappy writer. You have to fight to keep things in perspective.

Try keeping a piece of your best writing handy. When you start to feel like the worst writer ever, step back and read this piece to remind yourself that’s not true. You’ll turn all this crap into gold in the editing stages!

8. Relax.

Don’t put so much pressure on yourself! You’ll suck all the fun out of writing and put a block on your brain. Accept your writing abilities and write the best story you can! Maybe one day someone out there will wish they could write like you!

Have any more ideas on how to find acceptance in your writing and yourself as a writer? Comment below, I’d love to hear them!

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Showing & Telling: How They Help Control Your Story’s Length

August 21, 2015September 3, 2016 ~ Kaitlin Hillerich ~ 2 Comments

I don’t know about you, but I’ve always struggled with short stories. I’m definitely a novel kind of girl. But I hated that short stories were getting the better of me–how could I write a 100k word novel no problem but couldn’t manage a 2k word story? It didn’t make sense. Could I figure out how to keep a story short?

Challenge accepted.

Thus began my obsessive study of short stories, which lasted almost a year. And I learned some interesting things not just about short stories, but also about how to control your story’s length in general. I’m about to share with you something it took me months to figure out.

Ready?

Showing helps make your novel long, and telling helps keep your short story short.

Well, duh, you think. It’s so obvious!

It was obvious, and it was something I knew too! Of course it takes more words to show than tell. Yet somehow I had been blind to this fact even though it was staring me right in the face.

The problem was, I was a novelist with a novelist’s mindset. And in novels, telling is usually a big no-no. But the more I studied short stories, the more I was surprised to find that not only is telling acceptable, but it’s one of the necessary elements to keeping the story short!

Cue metaphorical light bulb.

Now I understood one of the reasons why my short stories ended up being so unwieldy. I was trying to show the reader everything just as I would in a novel, and this was adding length I didn’t want.

How Telling Keeps Things Short

Let’s check out some examples of telling in short stories, shall we?

“The Necklace” by Guy de Maupassant (my favorite short story, give it a read if you have the chance!) opens with several long paragraphs of telling:

She was one of those pretty and charming girls born, as though fate had blundered over her, into a family of artisans. She had no marriage portion, no expectations, no means of getting known, understood, loved, and wedded by a man of wealth and distinction; and she let herself be married off to a little clerk in the Ministry of Education. Her tastes were simple because she had never been able to afford any other, but she was as unhappy as though she had married beneath her; for women have no caste or class, their beauty, grace, and charm serving them for birth or family, their natural delicacy, their instinctive elegance, their nimbleness of wit, are their only mark of rank, and put the slum girl on a level with the highest lady in the land.

This is all information that in a novel, we would show. But it would take pages and pages to do so! Yet it works. But how does it work?

Guy tells the reader information that is necessary to understanding the story.
He presents the information in a way that is entertaining to read.

This can also be applied to your novel. You might have information the reader needs to know, but it’s not important enough to spend pages or chapters showing it. So what do you do? You tell them. But you don’t have to do it in a way that’s boring–use tone, similes, and word choice to make it entertaining!

Let’s look at one more example, “The Lottery” by Shirley Jackson:

Soon the men began to gather. surveying their own children, speaking of planting and rain, tractors and taxes. They stood together, away from the pile of stones in the corner, and their jokes were quiet and they smiled rather than laughed. The women, wearing faded house dresses and sweaters, came shortly after their menfolk. They greeted one another and exchanged bits of gossip as they went to join their husbands.

Here we are “told” what the men and women are talking about, whereas in a novel we would show this with actual dialogue. However, it works because this is all the information we need in the limited space of a short story.

How Showing Adds Length

Now, let’s switch gears. How does showing help add length to your novel?

When you show the reader something, you’re forced to use more words and page space. Telling is like a peek behind the curtain. Showing is like a backstage tour.

You could tell us Erin and Seth went on a date and had a wonderful time. Or you could show us by writing out the whole scene and letting us experience it with them.

You could tell us Erin and Seth fall in love and are crazy about each other. Or you could show us through scenes that reveal this information through their actions and words.

You could tell us Erin was upset when Seth cheated on her. Or you could show us how she found out and let us feel her pain.

Getting the idea? If you’re having a hard time getting your story novel-size, you may be trying to tell the reader too much and not showing enough. Let’s look at a quick example:

Telling: Erin was devastated at Seth’s betrayal.

Showing: Alone at last in her bedroom, Erin lost control. She fell to her knees and clutched at her hair, rocking back and forth. How. How could he do this to her? Her heart throbbed within her chest and her back shuddered with her sobs. Had everything been a lie? Had he ever loved her? Her tears dripped onto the frayed carpet. How could she have been so stupid? She should have known.

Showing gets you up close and personal with the viewpoint character, and reveals more details than telling allows. If you keep this up throughout an entire novel, you’re going to add a considerable amount of length!

Need More Techniques?

So how did I fare with my short story challenge? Not only did I finally manage to write a short story of appropriate length, but I also succeeded in getting it published. Not bad, right?

Even better, I’ve taken everything I learned from my journey and created an epic workbook to help you out! It’s called “The Epic Guide to Growing Your Idea Into a Novel-Sized (Or Short) Story.”

If you’re wondering how to keep a short story short or how to fill up a novel, this workbook is for you!

I break down the process of taking an idea and turning it into a story, and share the techniques you’ll need to achieve the length you want. Plus, it has accompanying worksheets to help you through the process. This is stuff it took me months of studying and analyzing to figure out!

You can learn more and purchase your workbook here for only $5! (Seriously, I wish I’d had this guide when I first started trying to figure this out!).

I truly feel that the information in this book is worth more than the $5, but I intentionally wanted to keep the price low for all of you new writers uncertain about investing a lot of money in your craft. I feel you, my friend, I’ve been there.

Telling is like a peek behind the curtain. Showing is like a backstage tour.

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What are your thoughts? Do you use showing and telling to help control the length of your story? Leave a comment below, I’d love to hear from you!

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Take Advantage of the Power of Beats in Your Writing

May 2, 2015September 3, 2016 ~ Kaitlin Hillerich ~ 6 Comments

Beats are one of the most awesome tools a writer can possess, and they often get overlooked. But just what the heck is a beat anyway?

The term ‘beat’ comes from acting, and is used in screenplays to indicate where the actor should pause in the dialogue. “But what does a screenplay technique have to do with novels?” you ask.

Well, because beats are also used in novels. You have beats in your writing right now without even realizing it.

Beats are short snippets in a novel that reveal a character’s actions, reactions, thoughts, or emotions within a scene. These little “pauses” from the dialogue of the story help to control the pacing, ground us in the setting, increase tension or emotion, reveal something about the character, and help us to connect with what the character is feeling.

Beats have a lot of power.

In screenplays, beats are usually used in emotional scenes when the writer wants to actor to pause in reaction or consideration to something that has just happened. In your novel, beats work much the same way. Adding in a beat with your dialogue lets your character pause and react to an event, and allows your readers to react along with them.

Of course, I can keep telling you how awesome and powerful beats are in your writing, but it would be better for me to just show you. Let’s look at a couple examples using Cassandra Clare’s Clockwork Angel (by the way, if you haven’t read this series it’s fantastic!). I’ll show the same passage, the first without beats and the second with.

Without beats:

“You know, I don’t believe I’ve ever seen a warlock eat before. I suppose you needn’t ever bant, do you? You can just use magic to make yourself look slender.”

“We don’t know for certain that she’s a warlock, Jessie.”

“Is it dreadful, being so evil? Are you worried you’ll go to Hell? What do you think the Devil’s like?”

“Would you like to meet him? I could summon him up in a trice if you like. Being a warlock and all.”

“There’s no call to be rude.”

Original passage with beats:

Tessa bit into a roll, only to check herself when she saw Jessamine staring.

“You know,” Jessamine said airily, “I don’t believe I’ve ever seen a warlock eat before. I suppose you needn’t ever bant, do you? You can just use magic to make yourself look slender.”

“We don’t know for certain that she’s a warlock, Jessie,” said Will.

Jessamine ignored him. “Is it dreadful, being so evil? Are you worried you’ll go to Hell?” She leaned closer to Tessa. “What do you think the Devil’s like?”

Tessa set her fork down. “Would you like to meet him? I could summon him up in a trice if you like. Being a warlock, and all.”

Will let out a whoop of laughter. Jessamine’s eyes narrowed. “There’s no call to be rude.”

***

The first example goes by quickly, and it leaves the reader blind and on the outside. We might imagine what’s happening, but we can’t really see it because the writer hasn’t shown it to us. We must also assume what the characters are feeling solely from their dialogue (which can be misleading since people often don’t say what they truly think or feel).

In the second example, the beats serve many different functions for the reader. They help identify which character is speaking, reveal their reactions to what is being said, and clue the reader in to the setting. Beats show what the characters are doing which gives us a better picture of the scene and helps us keep track of where they are and who’s doing what.

Additionally, beats help control the pacing and tension. They break up the dialogue, slowing down the reader. If you want a long pause, use a long beat. If you want a short pause, use a short beat. If you want things to move quickly, cut out your beats. And by revealing what the characters are feeling by showing their reactions (and thoughts in the case of your POV character) you will charge the scene with emotional tension that will keep the reader on edge.

Now that you know what beats are and how they can affect your story, harness their power and use them to your advantage!

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How to Use Word Choice to Set the Mood of Your Story

April 12, 2015September 29, 2015 ~ Kaitlin Hillerich ~ 1 Comment

Do you pay attention to mood in your writing? If not, you should!

It’s a subtle and very powerful tool for writers. And not something you want to overlook! By setting the mood of a scene, you can manipulate how you want the reader to feel. It’s like the Jedi mind trick of writing. Pretty cool, huh?

So just how can a writer take advantage of this awesome power? There are several techniques you can use. Let’s get started!

What is Mood?

When you hear “mood” you might be confused or intimated and think it’s some vague literary term. Maybe your English teach forced you to analyze the mood of different novels in the past and you’re now wary of the word. But don’t panic–it’s really simple. Here’s the definition of mood from Dictionary.com:

A state or quality of feeling at a particular time.

When applied to your story, mood means what a certain scene makes a reader feel. The mood of your story should be directed by the feelings of your characters.

Mood Comes from Character

Before you set the mood for your story, reflect on how your character is feeling. What are his thoughts or feelings about this place or moment? Is he awed, frightened, curious, or sad? Sure you could select any mood at random for your scene, but that’s not the point.

The purpose of creating a mood for a scene is to allow the reader to experience the story as the character does. If the character is frightened then you should work to create fear in the reader.

When you don’t match characters’ feelings with the mood, it can hurt your story. If your character is lost in the wilderness and you’re describing the beauty of nature, it won’t flow as well–imagine trying to jam together two puzzle pieces that don’t fit. Your reader might wonder why the character is admiring the trees and squirrels when he’s lost in the middle of nowhere. This will also keep the reader from fully feeling the character’s panic and fear at being lost.

You should also consider your character’s personality, as different people will experience the same place in different ways. For example, for Character A a circus is exciting, but for Character B it’s terrifying, and for Character C it’s a bore. If you love the circus, don’t describe it in a positive way if your character hates it!

So basically, the reader’s feelings of a scene should be filtered through the POV character so the reader can experience the story as the character does.

Techniques for Setting Mood

There are three basic ways to create the mood for a scene: details, similes, and vocabulary choice. Let me show you a couple examples of these techniques in action.

Example #1:

The pine boughs tickled Snow White’s arms as she wandered through the forest. Robins sang and flitted from branch to branch overhead, and a rabbit scampered past. She paused to admire a Dogwood adorned in white blooms so that it looked as though its branches cradled fluffs of cloud. She plucked a blossom and stroked its petals, which were as soft as a mouse’s fur. A squirrel nestled in one of the branches peered at her from behind its bushy tail.

Example #2:

Bare branches scratched at Snow White’s arms as she stumbled through the forest, and. A raven cawed and swooped over her head, startling her. Twisted tree roots snatched at her feet like the fingers of a corpse emerging from a grave, and dragged her to the ground. The damp earth stained her blue dress like thunderclouds smudging out a summer sky. She swallowed back her tears as a wolf’s wail pierced the cold air.

These examples are pretty overdone and melodramatic, but you get the point. Both convey a specific mood, which reflects what the character is feeling and draws the reader in to share her experience.

Details

What does your character notice? Different people will notice different things, so it will depend on her personality. You don’t have to include every detail your character might notice. Choose specific details that will be most helpful for setting the mood you want.

In the first example to make the scene feel warm and fuzzy, I mentioned details like robins, bunnies, squirrels, and a tree in bloom. These are also details an animal-lover like Snow White would probably notice.

In the second example, I chose to describe the details of a raven, wolf, twisted tree roots, and damp dirt. These are all things a frightened Snow White might notice while struggling through a forest.

Similes

The second technique you can use to convey mood is similes. Comparing one thing to another can evoke emotion and give the reader a vivid picture of how the character is feeling/perceiving the scene.

In the same way you would consider what details your character might notice, consider what he/she might use as a comparison for something. For example, an art lover might express themselves through art comparisons, or a sports player might make athletic comparisons.

In the first example I compared the spring blossoms to fluffs of cloud, and the petals to a mouse’s fur. In the second, I compared tree roots to a corpse’s fingers, and the dirt staining her dress to thunderclouds blotting out a clear sky. The comparisons in each example reflect the character’s mood.

Vocabulary choice

The last tactic you can use is vocabulary choice. Consider what words you will include to create a specific mood and how a reader will react to them emotionally.

Notice how in the first example I used words like tickled, sang, flitted, scampered, admire, adorned, blossom, fluffs, bloom, stroked, soft, nestled, and bushy. Each of these word conveys a feeling of tranquility.

In the second example, I used bare, scratched, stumbled, swooped, startling, twisted, snatched, dragged, damp, wail, pierced, and cold. Notice how these words make you feel…not very pleasant, right?

It takes practice to become aware of and intentional with your word choice but it’s well worth the effort. Words are powerful, and you should take advantage of your word choice to manipulate how you want the reader to feel about a scene.

Do you pay attention to mood in your writing? What techniques do you use to set the mood?

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How to Use Paragraphs to Control Pacing

April 5, 2015September 29, 2015 ~ Kaitlin Hillerich ~ 2 Comments

Many writers may not pay attention to paragraphs, especially when starting out, but they hold a subtle power over your novel.

But don’t underestimate them–paragraphs can invite a reader into your novel or drive them away. And if you learn how to manipulate them, you can use their power to your advantage.

Beware Unwieldy Paragraphs

When you pick up a book at the store and thumb through the pages only to find unbroken blocks of text spanning an entire page or more, how do you feel? I don’t know about you, but when I see back-to-back giant paragraphs, I don’t get the warm and fuzzies.

Giant paragraphs are hard on the eyes. All that text going on and on and on…it’s intimidating to readers and can scare them off. Your readers might think your book will be a tough read and decide to drift away to something easier. The last thing you want is to make your novel look like a textbook!

White Space is Your Friend

Using paragraph breaks more frequently creates more white space, which invites readers to linger on the page. Readers need white space because it gives the eye a place to rest. That’s why when you skim through a book, you’re probably drawn right to the dialogue–switching between speakers offers more white space.

When you’re writing, look for subtle shifts in topic where you can break paragraphs. Let me show you what I mean using Edgar Allen Poe’s the Tell-Tale Heart. Here is the original without paragraph breaks:

Example 1

“I was never kinder to the old man than during the whole week before I killed him. And every night, about midnight, I turned the latch of his door and opened it –oh so gently! And then, when I had made an opening sufficient for my head, I put in a dark lantern, all closed, closed, that no light shone out, and then I thrust in my head. Oh, you would have laughed to see how cunningly I thrust it in! I moved it slowly –very, very slowly, so that I might not disturb the old man’s sleep. It took me an hour to place my whole head within the opening so far that I could see him as he lay upon his bed. Ha! would a madman have been so wise as this, And then, when my head was well in the room, I undid the lantern cautiously-oh, so cautiously –cautiously (for the hinges creaked) –I undid it just so much that a single thin ray fell upon the vulture eye. And this I did for seven long nights –every night just at midnight –but I found the eye always closed; and so it was impossible to do the work; for it was not the old man who vexed me, but his Evil Eye. And every morning, when the day broke, I went boldly into the chamber, and spoke courageously to him, calling him by name in a hearty tone, and inquiring how he has passed the night. So you see he would have been a very profound old man, indeed, to suspect that every night, just at twelve, I looked in upon him while he slept.”

That’s a giant paragraph if I ever saw one. Now, here’s the same paragraph again, but with breaks:

Example 2

“I was never kinder to the old man than during the whole week before I killed him.

And every night, about midnight, I turned the latch of his door and opened it –oh so gently! And then, when I had made an opening sufficient for my head, I put in a dark lantern, all closed, closed, that no light shone out, and then I thrust in my head.

Oh, you would have laughed to see how cunningly I thrust it in! I moved it slowly –very, very slowly, so that I might not disturb the old man’s sleep. It took me an hour to place my whole head within the opening so far that I could see him as he lay upon his bed.

Ha! would a madman have been so wise as this, And then, when my head was well in the room, I undid the lantern cautiously-oh, so cautiously –cautiously (for the hinges creaked) –I undid it just so much that a single thin ray fell upon the vulture eye.

And this I did for seven long nights –every night just at midnight –but I found the eye always closed; and so it was impossible to do the work; for it was not the old man who vexed me, but his Evil Eye. And every morning, when the day broke, I went boldly into the chamber, and spoke courageously to him, calling him by name in a hearty tone, and inquiring how he has passed the night.

So you see he would have been a very profound old man, indeed, to suspect that every night, just at twelve, I looked in upon him while he slept.”

Paragraph Lengths

Which one would you rather read? I’m betting the second example. It’s easier to read and less intimidating. But how exactly does it work its magic?

By controlling the pacing.

Readers hate giant paragraphs because it takes longer to get through them–it can feel like forever. White space allows the eye to move through more quickly. And in our modern times, readers are impatient and like things fast.

But how long is too long? I’d aim for an average paragraph length of 3-4 lines, but don’t go any longer than 7 or 8 lines. And you can never go too short–you can even do single-line paragraphs for dramatic impact.

Controlling Pacing

Now that you understand the subtle effects paragraphs have on readers you can use them to your advantage. Paragraphs are an effective technique for controlling pacing, and one you definitely shouldn’t overlook.

When you want to slow things down in your story, like making a romantic moment linger, lengthen your paragraphs. It will take your reader longer to get through them, and make them feel like the scene is lasting longer.

When you want to speed things up, keep your paragraphs short and punchy. This is perfect for action scenes. More white space and fewer words means your reader will be flying through the pages, and the scene will feel like it’s moving quickly. The shorter you go, the faster things will move–you can even go down to single lines if you want.

Do you take advantage of paragraphs in your writing?

How to Write an Opening Line that Will Hook Readers (and a Publisher!)

January 8, 2015September 29, 2015 ~ Kaitlin Hillerich ~ 3 Comments

The first sentence of your story is the most important you will write. It will determine whether the reader (or publisher) decides to keep reading or toss your book aside.

Think of it this way: when you meet someone new you decide from your first impression whether or not you like the person and are interested in continuing a conversation. (Or if that Hitler stache is just too creeptastic and you want to hightail it out of there first chance you get).

The first sentence is your story’s first impression to a reader. So you need to make it brilliant.

The first thing I do when I pick up a book at the store is read the opening line. If it catches my interest, I’ll examine the book further, maybe even buy it. If not, it goes back on the shelf. So how do you keep a reader from putting your book back on the shelf?

Let’s look at some examples of opening lines. On a scrap of paper, jot down which numbers make you want to read the rest of the story.

“I’ve been locked up for 264 days.”

“The songs of the dead are the lamentations of the living.”

“She killed him in the darkest part of the night, before the dew had settled on the grass.”

“Around midnight, her eyes at last took shape.”

“Blue Sargent had forgotten how many times she’d been told that she would kill her true love.”

“Laurel’s shoes flipped a cheerful rhythm that defied her dark mood.”

“I remember lying in the snow, a small red spot of warm going cold, surrounded by wolves.”

“Chauncey was with a farmer’s daughter on the grassy banks of the Loire River when the storm rolled in, and having let his gelding wander in the meadow, was left to his own two feet to carry him back to the chateau.”

“After a year of slavery in the Salt Mines of Endovier, Celaena Sardothien was accustomed to being escorted everywhere in shackles and at sword-point.”

““Four-ball, side pocket.” Aislinn pushed the cue forward with a short, quick thrust; the ball dropped into the pocket with a satisfying click.”

Which of these books would you like to read? Which opening lines arouse your curiosity and make you want to know what happens next?

The odd-numbers are examples of excellent opening lines; the even-numbers are examples of weak opening lines. I’m willing to bet the odd-numbered examples were the ones that made you want to read the rest of the story.

And guess which books are on my bookshelf? That’s right–the odd-numbers. They aroused my interest enough to make me want to buy the book, which is exactly what you want as a writer.

So what makes the good lines good?

They arouse curiosity: Why is she locked up? Why did she kill him? Why would she kill her true love? Why is she surrounded by wolves? How did she become a slave?
They present conflict: Will she escape prison? Will she get away with killing him? Will she really kill her true love? Will she be killed by the wolves? Will she escape slavery?
They start near the action—things are happening or about to happen. There is the feeling of forward momentum from the combination of curiosity and conflict. You want to plunge your reader into the heart of the story as quickly as possible—start in the middle of the action.

What makes the weak lines weak?

They don’t arouse curiosity or present conflict.
#2 tries to be profound but just ends up being confusing.
#8 is description, which slows down the story before it even starts.
The problem with opening with dialogue as in #10 is it’s somewhat jarring–we haven’t been introduced to the characters yet and we don’t know who’s speaking.

In case you’re curious, here are the books whose opening lines were used in the example: 1. Shatter Me by Tahereh Mafi 2. Eldest by Christopher Paolini 3. Claire de Lune by Christine Johnson 4. Fallen by Lauren Kate 5. The Raven Boys by Maggie Steifvater 6. Wings by Aprilynne Pike 7. Shiver by Maggie Steifvater 8. Hush, Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick 9. Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas 10. Wicked Lovely by Marissa Marr

The purpose of your opening line is to hook the reader by arousing curiosity and/or presenting conflict and action. Give your reader a reason to keep turning those pages! Are you up to the challenge?

Go to a library, bookstore, your own bookshelf, or even amazon.com, and browse through some books examining the first line. Which ones draw in your interest? Which ones don’t? Share below!

The Secret to Vivid Writing

January 5, 2015September 29, 2015 ~ Kaitlin Hillerich ~ 5 Comments

You know how some writers have a way of bringing a scene to life and making it feel as though it’s real? It’s a strange enchantment. We are willing to believe anything the author says because it’s so vivid, how could it not be true?

What is this sorcery, you ask? Thankfully it’s not really magic, and it’s something you can learn too. So listen up, because I’m about to spill some valuable secrets here.

The secret to vivid writing is: specific nouns.

Um, what?

Allow me to elaborate. The more specific you are in your writing, the more vivid of an image you will create in the reader’s mind. The more vague you are, the more hazy the image will be. Specific nouns reveal more about your characters and their surroundings.

Sounds simple enough, right? It is, but it does take some practice and requires a little more thought and work. What do I mean by this? Well, look at this sentence from a Middle-Eastern inspired fantasy story I wrote:

When night unfurled her stars, the nightjars emerged from their nests and the assassin strung his bow.

I could have just said the birds emerged from their nests–it would have been easier on my part. But I felt that the image could be stronger, so I researched nocturnal birds native to the Middle East and came across nightjars. Additionally, my character did not simply carry a sword–it was a shamshir (a curved, Persian sword).

Do you see how these little, specific details reveal more about the character’s world? Be specific whenever you can, and be wary of using vague nouns as they can imply a lazy or inexperienced writer.

Let’s look at a few more examples. Take note of the differences in the images each sentence makes you conjure:

The bird sat in the tree VS. The owl perched in the pine.
Her garden was full of flowers VS. Roses, petunias, and dahlias crowded her garden.
The man got into his car VS. The lawyer slid into his black Mercedes.

Remember: specific, specific, specific!

What are some books you love where the story was brought to life through vivid details? How do you use them in your own writing?